On the Write Again

I'm getting closer to writing again, maybe out of desperation, maybe out of looking around at my life and thinking something along the lines of what the fuck am I doing? I even sent out submissions of some things last night, partly thanks to Beth for asking me about an essay of mine. It was one of those nice and bleedingly rare moments when you read some of your old work and you don't need to burn it. Burn it? Nay! This exquisite sample of writing should be alongside the Magna Carta under glass, it so precious and necessary. So I sent it out to some places and contests.

I had a second great moment yesterday. After a second or third beer while watching recorded episodes of Angel on television, I stood up and looked around at my apartment. Let's face it. Generally speaking, I am not the happiest of people, nor the most convinced of my accomplishments and potential. But after those several beers and being a little high on the delightfully satisfying storylines mapped out by Joss Whedon, I looked around my apartment and thought, this is mine. I made this. I pay for it. It's all mine. And then I thought, okay, I might be a little cool. Maybe my life can still be awesome.

And I really want to have an awesome life, but every second seems to push that possibility out of my reach. Every second breathes more concrete into my veins and smoke into the vessels running up and down and across my brain. Paralysis is never immediate.

Top Albums of 2007

I think about music a lot. And even more lately as it seems near impossible to explain things going on in the darkness of my mind. Only music can come near to it, either in comprehension or in the expression of it. God, to be musical would be the thing. That's the real gift of life, the one thing that means more than everything else. Music reaches higher and lower than every other form of expression, and deeper and softer. It's just damn magical. If you don't believe me, just listen to "The Hill" from the soundtrack for Once. If you don't agree after that, you and I have nothing to say to each other.

I'm actually a little surprised I haven't posted this already. Here's my top albums of 2007 (not in order because that's too darn specific for me, though if I had to give you a front runner, it would be between the soundtrack to Once and the Bishop Allen album):

Feist, The Reminder

Once (the soundtrack)

Jens Lekman, Night Falls Over Kortedela

Bishop Allen, The Broken String

Amy Winehouse, Back to Black

Beirut, Flying Club Cup

The Bees, Octopus

Microscopic Phobias

This is all I need to never leave the house again. And by that, I mean never be able to leave the house again:

One use credit card sized microscope, available in 5 packs of 500x to 1000x



Comes with your own isolation pod and vat of antibacterial wipes.